Sunday, March 8, 2009

Clarity

Last Sunday, my notes from the sermon read
God puts you through hard/difficult times for the following reasons:
1. Change Us
2. Correct Us
3. Protect Us
4. Humble Us
5. Test Us
I am thinking the whole time about a friend of mine that is struggling with her life. She was saying how stressed she was. She shouldn't have made the choices she made for her life and her husband. I wanted to tell her some Bible verses from the sermon about God may be testing her to see if she will fall into Satan, or it may be the other reason, but regardless, it was God's will she is where she is, and it is time to move forward. I debated telling her, but I didn't want to seem like I was telling her what to do. The point of all of this-that the sermon never really felt like it was for me-I already knew all that-but for me to pass on to people who may need Bible Verses to remind them of what they already know.
I woke up Monday morning-ready for a busy week, a stressful-TAKS test week, and I am in a car accident on my way to work. I have such bad anxiety in cars as it is, and the was NOT the week for this in my life. I sat around in a pool of SELF PITY all week. Hating that my husband wasn't here, hating everyone who asked how I was doing, hating all the people who never asked how I was doing, hating that I could not even take off work because of the STUPID Taks test. I just started examining all the people in my life and deciding that I don't really want any of them in my life-for little things or for big things.I went through all of this all week, instead of taking a step back and remember all the reasons God puts us through hard times. It took the most unlikely of people-to help me weed through my pity party to make me pick up my notes from last Sundays sermon and read it again-FOR ME. My mother said to me so many times I cannot even begin to estimate the count-"Poor pitiful Jennifer, wants to feel sorry for herself, let me play a pity song for you" (as she used her fingers to symbolize her mini violen). With this is my head I tend to feel horrible for having my pity parties-BUT I DECIDED THIS WEEK-IT IS OKAY TO HAVE A PITY-PARTY AS LONG AS THERE IS SOME CLARITY WHEN IT IS OVER. It sucks to go through hard times, and I say to all of you who are going through hard times. Take a look at 1 Peter and see if you find some comfort in what God has in store for you. I really have taken a look at those that go through such hard times when your husband is gone and I hope that you can feel God's hands holding you all the time. It is in KNOWING he is there and KNOWING he has a plan that you can proceed with your life and not get caught up in the world. I am so interested in people commenting and sharing their clarity moments, bible verses, or thoughts. Let's all stick together and get through this life.

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